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The Relationship Renewal Center
RICHARDSON - She's a talkaholic. He's the strong silent type. Add two demanding careers,
conflicting work schedules and extended family obligations to the equation and it is easy
to see why newlyweds David and Ann Patterson hardly had time to talk to each
other much less resolve the issues that were triggering arguments and wrecking their
relationship.
But the Pattersons did find a way to really hear each other and transform their marriage
into the kind of intimate and joy-filled relationship that they dreamed about.
Through Imago Relationship Therapy, the Pattersons learned how to communicate
in a way that deepened their commitment to each other rather than separating
them with arguments and petty fights.
"This has helped me understand who my husband really is and to learn how to listen to
what he is saying," Ann Patterson said. "Instead of jumping to my own conclusions and
figuring out in my head what I am going to say next during an argument, I really stop
and try to understand what he is telling me."
More than a quick fix or a simple strategy for deciding who takes out the garbage or
who controls the money, Imago Relationship Therapy addresses the unconscious and
deep-seated reasons why relationships don't work and gives couples tools to understand
their partners.
Mark Felber, a licensed professional counselor and licensed chemical dependency counselor
and Dr. Jenny Murray, a licensed psychiatrist, are dedicated to helping couples and
individuals restore meaning to their lives and travel a path to fulfillment and
authentic happiness. At the Relationship Renewal Center, Felber helps couples learn
to create fun, romance, passion and intimacy through Imago Relationship Therapy.
Murray also works with individuals and couples to help them through a crisis or to
better understand themselves and their relationship.
In this era of cell phones and the Internet Highway, the road to happiness is often
littered with all kinds of hazards as many couples such as the Pattersons discover.
Crunched for time and caught between so many demands coming from all different
directions, there's a tendency to let relationships take a back seat. In
no time couples discover they no longer admire the
very qualities that attracted them to their partner in the first place. Soon it seems as if
there is no time for fun and that exhilaration that drew them together starts to fizzle.
But couples, whether they are just starting out or have been coasting along for years,
can learn how to look past the everyday squabbles that divide them and instead look at
the childhood wounds that partners act out in unconscious ways.
During therapy, David Patterson came to understand that his wife's childhood was affecting
the way she responded to him. The child of divorced parents, Ann Patterson had an intense
need to keep the bond between them tight -- so tight that David Patterson often felt
overwhelmed and suffocated.
"I really didn't understand that certain things I did really bothered her," David
Patterson said. "Now I feel like I understand where she's coming from. It's all
about understanding why she acts a certain way and how I can help by the way I
listen to her."
Imago Relationship Therapy helps partners understand that they select each other
for reasons that are related to a need to heal the woundings of childhood, Felber
said.
"Through therapy they learn about their partner's wounds and how to help heal them
by changing the way they respond to each other," he said. "As a result, couples
achieve the connection and wholeness that everyone longs for in life."
For Ann Patterson, that meant learning a structured way to communicate so that
she could hear her husband.
"It meant I had to shut up and really
look at things from his perspective," she said. "It forced me to listen to what he was
feeling, rather than just go on and on in circles."
Both Felber and Murray are committed to helping couples and individuals sort through
the issues that create conflict in their lives and learn ways to re-connect.
Men and women tend to express their concerns about careers, money and other issues
but for both sexes, it's really relationships that matter most, Murray said.
"If people feel emotionally connected to other people they usually don't end up
in my office," she said.
It doesn't matter whether they are in a difficult relationship but want to resolve
long-standing conflicts, are near divorce, are satisfied but know it could be better
or are just starting out, couples can take away from therapy a deeper and more
fulfilling relationship.
At a time when half of all marriages end in divorce, Imago Relationship Therapy has
the power to facilitate the healing of so many hurting hearts, said Felber, who for
seven years pursued doctoral studies that explored a cultural history of intimate
relationships.
Ann and David Patterson can certainly testify to the value of therapy.
"This is like marriage insurance," David Patterson said. "It has given us a way
to really understand each other."
Ann Patterson said that what she learned has made all the difference.
"It's made us more committed than ever," she said. "Now we can stop and listen and
hear what the other person is about. That's a lot better than keeping it all inside
or blowing up at each other and three years from now getting a divorce."
The Relationship Renewal Center
E-mail mark@marriagecpr.com | |